He turned on his side and discovered her watching him temperately. Her pale dim eyes bolted onto his, yet she stayed quiet. There was a smear of blood on the swell of her correct bosom. She shuddered when he cleaned it away. “I figured you would pass judgment on me,” she said. “You drank so furiously.” “I’m sorry I terrified you.” “I wasn’t scared.” She followed her fingers across the spot on her bosom from which he had cleaned away the blood, at that point examined the tips. “For what reason do you retain your judgment? You know how I long for it.” “I dread losing you.” “Maybe you will not, maybe you’ll have me until the end of time.” “The chances aren’t acceptable.” She set herself up on an elbow. “You know as of now, isn’t that right? You realize I’ll bomb judgment?” “Nobody can realize that. It’s simply that the chances are rarely acceptable. I’ve advised you so multiple times.” She fell back, lay gazing up into the overhang. “I couldn’t care less. I need my opportunity. On the off chance that I was with another person—one of the de Czeges, for example—they wouldn’t deny me.” “On the off chance that you were with the de Czeges, likely they would butcher you, regardless of whether you condemned.” She began to protest, however Beheim, becoming irritated, spoke harshly to her, saying, “You can’t in any way, shape, or form capture the perils of the world you wish to enter. However, if you demand, on the off chance that you wish it”— he sat up and hung over her, with one hand planted close to her padded head, shadowing her with his body—”I will pass judgment on you this moment.” Her face sold out shock, at that point was overflowed with the marvelous slackness of want, and he thought from the outset that she would acknowledge his offer; yet after a second she deflected her eyes and said in a practically indistinct murmur, “I’m not so liberated from dread as I thought.” Listen,” he said, diminished. “There will come when judgment should be given when no other course is available to us. That is its method. It will be a thing existing apart from everything else, a snapshot of giving up and greeting and utter responsibility when we will chance a lot together, when you will face the challenge of passing on, and I the danger of being left without you. Denise may individuals who neglect to stand by until they are devoured by the desire to pass judgment and be judged, that specific empowering synthetic substances are delivered by such an earnestness. We have so little information about any of this. Be that as it may, be guaranteed, the opportunity will come, and afterward I will pass judgment, on you… not because, yet out of affection.” She turned around to him. “You comprehend why I’m so anxious, isn’t that right? I need you for every one of the evenings. For eternity. Living like this, not understanding what will occur… ” “Trust me. Also, confide in yourself.” “I’ll attempt.” She put an arm about his midsection and brought her mouth near his, warming his face with her breath. “Advise me… ” She left the order incomplete. “What is it?” She shook her head. “It’s nothing.” “Clearly not.” “I planNotsome information about death.” “I don’t fill the ow.” “When you were judged, you went through death, did you not?” “Went through,” he said absently, recollecting. “Indeed, I guess that is what occurred.” “Enlighten me concerning it!” He gazed toward the covering, similar to a swollen dark midsection hanging overhead. “There’s no encouragement for you in my insight into death.” “How might you say that? You don’t—” “You’re trusting I can reveal to you that demise isn’t an end, that something exists past this life, that some extreme magnificence wins, that spirits swim up from the dimness to circle and sing in the light. All things considered, I can reveal to you that something does without a doubt exist past life, yet you ought to get no solace from it. There are dread more significant than that of simple eradication.” “What are they?” “That I am sworn not to uncover.”
“If it’s not too much trouble! I—” “I can’t! Some time or another you may become familiar with the Mysteries for yourself, however, up to that point, you should acknowledge on trust all I’ve advised you.” She brought down her head so the mass of her hair covered his face, her forehead leaning against his chest, and mumbled a charm. Beheim felt regret at having utilized her thus, at having eliminated her from a characteristic life and cultivated in her a craving for things she may never achieve. “I wish you had asked to enter my administration,” he said. “I wish you had readily acknowledged every one of the chaperon dangers and difficulties.” “I acknowledge them now.” “Indeed, however, you didn’t have the foggiest idea what might occur to start with. On the off chance that you had, maybe I could accommodate my kind gestures with the hazard wherein I have set you.” “Ruler… ” she started. “I’m not a ruler! A long way from it.” “You are my ruler,” she said. “I can’t remember what its identity was escaped from you that evening in the roads of Montparnasse, yet it was not I. That lady despised you, dreaded you. However, she is dead, and I, the living, can just revere you.” These words stung Beheim more horrendously than had her supplications, and he held her firmly, touching her hair, her midsection, and flanks. After a short time, however, this had not been his expectation, she reacted to his considerations with strokes of her own. She put her lips to his ear and murmured, “I need you around evening time, Michel!