September of their first year of college:
“Wow, you are on time! You haven’t finally learnt to be punctual, have you?” Khanak teases as she enters the small and cozy restaurant and sees Rishav and Ankan sitting at one of the tables. Actually, calling it a restaurant might be an exaggeration. It’s just an eating place, where people can at least sit (Which is lot better than the momos place near their school where they had to eat standing up), with four round tables with four chairs each and people making really tasty food at the back.
“And you still haven’t learnt to be not late” Rishav teases back while standing up to give her a side hug.
“Hawww, you liar! When have I ever been late?” Khanak somehow manages to sound really fake-horrified at his statement when all she is feeling is giddy about spending time with him. Rishav looks shocked at her response and Ankan chuckles at their banter when she goes to give him a hug and goes to sit on the chair left between them.
“oh, let me see…” Rishav pretends to think and then answers “only every day before school”
She smiles thinking of how almost every day she has made along with herself late for school. But not in habbit of backing off from their meaningless friendly banter she counters back “That’s different!”
She loves the frustrated glint in Rishav’s eyes. To her, it implies that nothing has changed. Rishav starts to reply “how’s it…” only to get interrupted by Ankan.
“Okay kids, stop now! Let’s end the discussion with the conclusion that you both are late- latif and only I am perfect!” Ankan announces, as always acting as a pacifier.
“No arguments on the last part from my side” Rishav concedes, his hand raised in the universal gesture of surrendering. Both of them look at Khanak, as if asking whether she agrees to the truce or not.
Khanak smiles affectionately at Ankan’s skills to manage them and hit him on his forearm with her fist “There is no doubt that you really are perfect”. At their compliment Ankan blushes, his ear tip becoming red and making Khanak smile wider at him.
The calmness of the moment gets disturbed by Rishav suddenly standing up, shaking the whole table “What do you guys want? I am going to order” His voice sounded like a growl, and face twisted in a scowl.
“I will have a papdi chaat with coke” Khanak answers, her eyes betraying the confusion she is feeling at rishav’s sudden mood change. “And ask them to make it…”
“Extra spicy!” Ankan completes her sentence, smiling at her bemusedly. “Probably even then know it by now that you eat everything extra spicy” Ankan says, gesturing toward the people making food at the back of the restaurant. Khanak smiles shyly at him. It feels good to be treated like someone special. Ankan tells Rishav what he wants without taking his eyes off her while all she could notice was Rishav’s hands clenched into fists and his scowl getting harder, making her feel guilty for no reason.
###
“Should we go to India Gate next?” Khanak asks cheerfully, trying to break the tense silence around them.
“Why do we have to go to India gate?” Rishav asks with a confused face, as if he can’t find a single reason to go to India Gate with her.
She is getting really tired of his bad mood. She has made big plans for all of them this week and it won’t go well if acts as broody and grim as he is acting right now. She exhales loudly and forces herself to smile widely “because it’s a nice place to hang-out in evening, I like it there and it has been so long since we’ve been there!” Khanak makes a pouty face at both of them, requesting them to say yes.
“Firstly, it’s a crowdy place to hang-out in the evening, secondly I don’t like it there and third, it hasn’t been that long for both of us” Rishav replies rudely, gesturing at Ankan and himself, implying they have been there without her. The rudeness in his tone making him flinch. Rishav has never outwardly rejected her idea like this… in fact he has never rejected her plans except the one time on her birthday but since they both pretend like that day never happened, it doesn’t count. He usually just goes along with her plans, sometimes because he likes them and other times because he prefers to do whatever she has planned instead of having her pester him until he agrees and then do it.
Khanak looks at Ankan to be sure but one look at the guilt in his eyes gave her the answer. “Wasn’t it just Saturday before the last one, when we were there?” Rishav asks Ankan, pretending to not remember when even a five years old kid could tell that he clearly remembers that it actually was the weekend before the last one. The weekend she has asked them to hang-out with her.
“Saturday before the last one? The day I asked both of you to hang out with me?” Khanak asks, her eyes and mouth wide open in disbelief as if she can’t fathom the idea that both of them made excuses to her… lied to her. Had she felt bad after knowing that they are not meeting her so they could hang out with their new friends? Sure, but she wouldn’t have felt betrayed by them… disappointed on their friendship. Somewhere in her mind she knows that it’s not a big deal but right now she isn’t really in mood to listen to the logical part of her brain.
Khanak looks at Ankan, his eyes glaring at Rishav but when he notices her looking at him, his eyes soften, apologizing to her.
“Actually, you didn’t ask us. You asked him!” Yeah, Khanak has messaged Ankan, asking whether he and Rishav wanted to hang out as she is free. Ankan has told her to wait and let him ask Rishav. After a few minutes he replied with a sorry and explanation that they can’t go as they are going to Rishav’s hostel room to complete an assignment.
Khanak doesn’t understand why Rishav has mentioned it. She doesn’t even try to understand what Rishav is implying. She is too busy noticing the mocking smirk on his face. He looks like he wants her to feel bad and that’s why he made such a grand gesture of unfolding the truth.
“Why are you asking like this? Is there any problem?” Rishav continues to pretend like he doesn’t know that he is hurting her. In that moment she just wanted to punch him. Hurt him in some way like he is doing to her but she controls herself, knowing that her losing control will only give him more satisfaction.
“No, no problem! You are right, we shouldn’t go. It hasn’t been even two weeks since both of you have been there” Khanak answers, giving both of them a fake bright smile.
Few, months ago she wouldn’t have even tried to pretend even in front of her best friends and she knows Rishav wouldn’t have taunted her like he is doing today. And suddenly like a painful punch, realization hit her. It wasn’t just her fear talking to her earlier today. Things are really changing, her friendship with them is changing… Rishav is changing. And just like it happened at the time of her father’s death, she is going to stand here like an idiot, trying to hold onto things but will fail. Because once the change has happened, you can’t un-change it!